“Move like a girl.” Rebecca Quin, aka Becky Lynch, doesn’t move like a girl. She moves like a man. The Man, in fact, and her journey to becoming The Man is an extraordinary journey in 2024’s Becky Lynch: The Man: Not Your Average Average Girl. I’m a diehard professional wrestling fan, and have been most of my life. Like a lot of other wrestling fans, I wanted the women wrestlers to get an equal opportunity to showcase their skill and talents to the world as the men traditionally received in the male-dominated wrestling business. Instead, women were often relegated to a special attraction as “WWE Divas,” and even when WWE moved away from the degrading “bra and panties” matches as part of the special attraction, the women still weren’t featured regularly or taken seriously. That is until the women’s revolution in WWE ushered in by the many women who laid the groundwork in the Before Times, and fully encapsulated by the Four Horsewomen: Charlotte Flair (a phenom in her own right, who happens to be the daughter of Ric Flair), Sasha Banks (a wrestling protégée, if there ever was one), Bayley (the feel-good hero, with unmatched passion), and of course, Becky Lynch, the scrappy underdog born more than 3,000 miles away in Ireland.
The Four Horsewomen proved that women’s wrestling should be taken seriously and that if given the chance, wrestling fans would embrace it. Given Flair’s pedigree and skillset, and Banks’ aforementioned protégée status, those two were earmarked for main roster success (that is, moving up from the “developmental brand” NXT, which had become a quasi-third brand to Raw and SmackDown), while Becky and Bayley were almost the sidekicks, if you will, of the equation.
But, I’m getting ahead of myself. Becky’s story starts in Ireland, and it starts with a frumpy, unathletic, directionless girl filled with insecurities and no confidence. Those are her descriptors, which is what makes Becky’s wrestling memoir an instant hit with me: her vulnerability and openness about her thought process from a young age all the way through success and stardom. At the young age of 15, she finds professional wrestling (in terms of training; she was a fan prior), and like many wrestlers, wrestling brings something out of them they didn’t know they possessed, and for Becky, wrestling primarily gives her direction — something to strive toward rather than remain aimlessly smoking and drinking. When she breaks into the business, she is trained by none other than Fergal, who goes by Finn Balor in WWE. Yes, he had chiseled abs even then. Fergal would go on to be Becky’s first love. Obviously, it didn’t work out, but more on that later.
Becky was a natural on the “independent” circuit of professional wrestling, touring Ireland, the UK, and Japan. Even so, she was still in a male-dominated industry where often those independent shows only had one other woman’s wrestler for her to work with, or more often, she’d work with a male wrestler. She also was so young in a business that can be devious, malicious, and exploitative. That meant she essentially wrestled for free, or did degrading things like posing for fetish photos and ending up in a Japanese porno magazine to make a few bucks. Worse still, the wrestling business is very much a body game, i.e., how you look, as you’re out there in essentially you’re underwear, and I think stemming back to her days when kids made fun of Becky for her weight to her beginning wrestling days, she had an eating disorder (bulimia). That’s not uncommon in wrestling, especially among women wrestlers. She was frail and it was beating her body up.
That’s when she walked away for seven years during what at the time was misogynistically considered the prime age for women wrestlers of 18 to 25 (men, by comparison, was like 18 to 30). She tried being a flight attendant like her mom, and then a bartender. Then, she decided to go to acting school, which explains why Becky is one of the greatest promos of all time, meaning she’s able to tell stories through talking and “promote” the next match she’s in well. In order to prepare better for stunt work for Vikings, she found herself back in the ring, and that’s when she was hit with the realization that she still loved professional wrestling and didn’t want to give up that dream without knowing if she could make it.
Somehow, WWE caught wind of Becky, and gave her call to come tryout in Birmingham, Alabama. With virtually no money, she flew across the country to give it a shot. That’s something I’ll always find admirable, astounding, and compelling about immigrants to the United States; their willingness to come here with nothing to their name in the hopes of a better life and better opportunities, with Becky being no exception. It paid off because they wanted to bring Becky into NXT, and again, she was at the cusp of the supposed cut-off for prime years at age 25. A funny line from her was that to make a good first impression, she was told to wear a dress, but she couldn’t afford a good one, so, she showed up looking “frumpy in a bridesmaid dress.” That was June 2013. In less than six years, she was the biggest star in the industry. I can’t get over the arc of her career and life!
It’s at NXT, which now was housed at the world-class Performance Center in Orlando, where Becky encounters the “move like a girl” line from disgraced former trainer, Bill DeMott, which itself was an edict stemming from the top: Women were to slap and pull hair and not do anything too violent. We were nowhere near a women’s revolution when Becky came into NXT. The women were still called Divas, fighting for a Diva’s Championship that looked like a toy, and featured as a special attraction. With her dreams riding on this opportunity, NXT was a place Becky never felt confident or comfortable. Her imposter syndrome was always grappling with her, and she had to keep fighting for an opportunity.
Of course, wrestling fans know the history that occurs next, but the short end of it is that Triple H, who was booking NXT (in control), disregarded the edict from the top about women. He wanted them to wrestle like the men would, or more pointedly, like he knew the women could, if given the chance. Paige, who Becky met when she was only 13, and Emma, broke the mold, then Charlotte and Natalya (who Becky also knew from early on, including Nattie’s dad, Jim Neidhart), and we were off to the races with Bayley, Sasha, and indeed, Becky, who finally found her character, leaning into her weirdness as a steampunk character.
From there, Charlotte, Sasha, and Becky would be moved up to the main roster and start cracking the glass ceiling on many “firsts” for women’s wrestlers, but Becky was still lost in the shuffle, as can happen in the then-McMahon-controlled WWE, where live television was changed on the fly and creative plans went from hot to cold on a dime, and when there was creative, it didn’t make much sense. Even through this period, Becky still had her moments of doubt and insecurity. It’s relatable that even someone who seems confident is secretly nervous and anxious.
Rebecca Quin, as a 15-year-old, had the dream of main eventing WrestleMania, the biggest professional wrestling show of the year, at a time when women were hardly featured on WrestleMania at all, and if they were, it was in Playboy bunny matches and things of that nature. When Becky was on the cusp of the main roster, the women were still getting cut for time on WrestleMania or relegated to the “let-down” match, i.e., between two more important matches. In 2018, at WrestleMania 34, Becky was in the women’s battle royal match on the pre-show (so, not the actual WrestleMania card) and was tossed out unceremoniously and with no fan fare. By the next year, she main evented WrestleMania 35 with Charlotte, who at the time was her best friend, and Ronda Rousey, one of the biggest women’s sports figures in the world. And she won both women’s titles, which by that point had been rechristened the Raw and SmackDown Women’s Championships, respectively, and looked like real women’s championships.
Like I said, it’s a remarkable journey for a frumpy girl in Ireland to somehow find her way in front of 68,000 people at MetLife Stadium. One of those people was me, by the way. I couldn’t resist seeing history, and I was all in on Becky, The Man, the most exciting women’s character to come down the pike … ever. My only wish was that we weren’t in the stadium for eight hours before the match I most wanted to see. We were depleted, cold, and wet. To top it off, when Becky should have won clean by tapping out Ronda, she instead rolled up Ronda for the 1-2-3, despite Ronda technically having her shoulder up at the end. I don’t know if that was intentional, but what was intentional was Ronda refusing to tap out because apparently her mother would disown her. Ugh. Nonetheless.
For someone who in her personal life could be so unsure of herself, to be able to play The Man character with such raw gumption and authenticity was impressive. She oozed through the screen with charisma, grit, presence, and aura. On top of it all, she’s one of the greatest talkers on the microphone in pro wrestling history, and in the ring, too, having been in some of my all-time favorite matches.
Along the way to the top, though, her relationship with one of my other favorite wrestlers, Charlotte, was strained. The lines between reality and kayfabe (the fictionalized world of professional wrestling) became blurred and caused hurt feelings. Meanwhile, Becky, who was initially engaged to a UFC fighter in a dead-end relationship she was aware was a dead-end relationship, broke it off and started a courtship with Seth Rollins at a time when both of them were vying for that WrestleMania 35 main event. It’s rather remarkable their budding relationship survived such competition. But their courtship is one of my favorite parts of the book because again, Becky’s vulnerable and hilarious in her vulnerability. She’s naturally worried about getting involved with someone at work, but it all works out, and they have a child together. Which is how The Man became The Mom. Then, she returned better than ever to have to have one of the best stories and matches with Bianca at WrestleMania 38. And for my money, from WrestleMania 39 last year to the present day, she’s having one of the best runs of her careers. Even when the stories from WWE creative and booking are lacking (even now, women still aren’t always given the proper booking, creative, storytelling, and featured spots they ought to be given), Becky has that intangible quality through sheer force of will, her ability to talk, and her incredible wrestling ability, to make me care about whatever it is she’s doing, whether a feud with a legend in Trish Stratus, returning to her stomping grounds of NXT, facing her old nemesis, Nia (the one who concussed Becky but gave us an iconic wrestling visual — the concussion in the book is scarily detailed), or the current build-up to her match with Rhea Ripley at WrestleMania 40.
Becky can, and has, done it all. And she started from nothing, buying cheap dresses, not able to afford shopping at Whole Foods (to doing a lot of crying at Whole Foods, including upon the sad news of her father’s cancer), and a seven-year hiatus from wrestling to break the mold multiple times over as a woman in a historically male-dominated industry. Even dropping the title to go be a mom and returning to much fan-fare was history-making.
Also, as a fan, naturally, I selfishly want more: Becky speeds through the last few years in the Epilogue to the book. I’d love to know more about her relationship with Charlotte, particularly these days, her heel run upon coming back after giving birth, and what WWE is like without McMahon, someone she seemed to admire as the “mythical billionaire.” Aside from when he cussed her out for no-selling Lacey Evans’ punch the night after WrestleMania 35, McMahon came across as supportive and a fan of Becky’s throughout her main roster run. He was also supportive of her dropping the title to go have a baby, albeit the original creative pitch was awful (she was to be angry and fight with a backstage interviewer, and Asuka instead of what we received, which was Becky’s idea). She also clearly admired Stephanie McMahon, who receives praise throughout and was there for Becky at pivotal moments. Cena, Rock, Sheamus, Finn, Kevin Owens, and Sami Zayn were also there to give Becky wise words throughout her career. I loved to see that. Seth, though, was her real rock throughout her rise to the top and everything thereafter. It’s so cute the way she talks about him and their relationship.
Becky proves that you can have it all, if you work hard enough, have the skill-set, and some luck along the way: fulfill your dreams, marry the man of your dreams, and continue living your dream as a mom.
Fans of Becky’s, like me, will love this book, but even if you’re not a wrestling fan, the trials and tribulations, and successes, both personal and professional, are relatable and understandable. Most of us, myself included, have experienced imposter syndrome at one point or another, and so did Becky. You will root for her because as Becky says, we have a bit of a bond with her, especially in a business not designed for her success. She succeeded anyway. Because she’s The Man. I love professional wrestling, and I loved the story of Rebecca Quin, aka Becky Lynch, aka The Man.
Milam's Musings 