A book with a palpable voice to it — providing a propulsive flow to the story — is a real joy to read. Lisa Harding’s 2021 book, Bright Burning Things, has such a clearly-defined voice and propulsion through Sonya, who is trying to abate her alcoholism in order to care for her 4-year-old son, Tommy. Sonya also seems like she has bipolar disorder, as she has manic and depressive swings, obviously exacerbated by alcohol use. The garnish, if you will, on those moments is her anger, too, quick to come to the forefront, publicly and deleteriously for her. Through Sonya, Harding created a memorable character, who warts and all, you root for to get better to be better for Tommy.
Sonya is carefree, vegetarian, a former actress who enjoyed the spotlight and ovations, and is oscillating between the elation of having a child and the suffocation of that child depending upon her. Alongside Sonya and Tommy is Herbie, their big, fluffy dog, a sort of anchoring point for both of them, given how dogs unconditionally love us. Sonya has also been on welfare since Tommy was born (the father isn’t in the picture) and feels a sense of shame about it. Nonetheless, Sonya and Tommy spend their days without structure, going to the beach or eating pizza until, inevitability, Sonya steals bottles of wine from the local store and gets blackout drunk. Sometimes, she has a pre-blackout where she forgets having even stolen the wine and drank it. Tommy and Herbie then are left to fend for themselves and take care of mom, as it were. Children, though, are perceptive, far more perceptive than we give them credit for. So, even at 4-years-old, Tommy is well-aware of his mother’s reliance upon the “bottle.”
As is Sonya’s father, who has largely been an absentee father in Sonya’s life after her mother died and he met Sonya’s stepmother, Lara. Still, he shows up when it matters, I guess you could say, and helps Sonya get into rehab. Rehab means separating Sonya from Tommy, though. Sonya needed some, diplomatically-speaking, cajoling to go to rehab and not try to leave after her first day. She sticks with it, though, and does get better, if slowly. When calling her father and trying to learn what became of Tommy and Herbie, Sonya does have her moments of angry outbursts and blacking out. (She really needed to be treated for bipolar disorder and her anger issues!)
While in rehab, David Symth, a solicitor and counselor, who previously paid for Sonya and Tommy’s pizza when he saw Sonya drunk and Tommy afraid, visits and talks with Sonya. I’m not sure if it was “official” or not. Regardless, David worms his way into Sonya’s life after she’s released from rehab. They become a “bright burning” item, but David was sending up all sorts of red flags to me. (The biggest red flag, by the way, was his disdain for Herbie and Marmie, the kitten Sonya rescued from the rehab facility.) I did not like him at all. First, the ethically dubious nature of dating someone he was ostensibly helping in rehab. Secondly, he’s evasive any time Sonya tries to learn about his life. And third, knowing that Sonya is a recovering alcoholic who naturally is going to have a spotty memory, he gaslights the hell out of her about everything. It becomes predatory, in my view, especially once Sonya is reunited with Tommy and has him back in the home. Fortunately, Sonya finds her old self — she sometimes plays roles to fit the moment to avoid having an anger outburst, so, for example, she played the “submissive wife” with David — and kicks David out of her house and life.
Of course, it’s rocky at first with Tommy. He felt abandoned by her and was experiencing a different upbringing while she was away. And again, he experienced the trauma of knowing his mom had a drinking problem and dealing with her blackout moments and public outbursts. At one point, Tommy even remarks to Sonya, “You’re not talking blurry.” Oof. Worse still, Sonya worries her memories of Tommy are distorted by her alcohol use. She reflects about Tommy, “He’s so quiet, not the lively man I remember. Are my memories of him filtered through the lens of the red-rimmed, melancholic boozer’s eyes?” That second line is the most haunting line of the novel. The Tommy she remembers does emerge with enough time, however. I think he needed to see and know his mother wasn’t on the bottle anymore.
Compounding Sonya’s recovery and sense of self is the realization that her mother likely died young because of her alcoholism. Sonya begins to have memories as a child that feel achingly similar to what Tommy must have experienced with her. She worries with her dad if she’s like her mother, but he reassures her she’s nothing like her mother. Aside from one slip-up after leaving rehab, but prior to Tommy, fortunately, Sonya never relapses. If anything, the biggest trigger for making her feel crazy was freaking David!
Harding’s book is one of my favorite reads of the year owing to electric prose that fits its manic character, and a deeply raw story of alcoholism, abandonment, and motherhood. It’s a must-read.
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