‘Whatever Froots Your Loops’: It’s Complicated

I’m a cereal fiend. One day, I’ll do a blog post running down my favorite cereals, but suffice it to say, for as long as I can remember, my “comfort food” has been cereal. It has always been the one food I go to no matter how I’m feeling. Even if I’m sick and have no appetite for anything else, I’ll eat cereal.

And for as long as I can remember eating cereal, Froot Loops (which until the last few years, I didn’t even realize they were using a cacography of fruit with “froot”; I thought it was Fruit Loops) has been my favorite, go-to cereal. Those colorful loops, the fun of Toucan Sam on the cover, and obviously, the sugary yumminess.

I mean, look at this fun commercial from 1999 right in the middle of my childhood:

Quick aside, as this fascinates me. Apparently, after more than 50 years of doing Froot Loops, Kellogg’s is actually rolling out new advertising for Froot Loops in the year 2020. That fascinates me because a brand that is so entrenched in the culture and has been for literally decades still feels the need to do advertising. I mean, obviously, right? The most well-known brands in the world still have a sizable advertising budget because they want to make sure they stay in the zeitgeist, and in this case, the cereal zeitgeist, particularly as people get older and there are new generations to appeal some Froot Loops to.

Now, I don’t watch regular television much anymore, so I’m unlikely to see these new advertising spots. But check it out:

“Whatever Froots Your Loops” seems similar to the whimsical, be-yourself idea of “whatever floats your boat.” That’s a great commercial, although one more aside. Who is eating cereal and then a glass of milk? And then an orange?! Orange and milk. Bleh.

But I have to admit, these days, if there’s one thing that’s not frooting my loop, it’s Froot Loops. I don’t know if they’ve always tasted the same and my tastes have changed, if my tastes are the same and they’ve changed the recipe, or if they never were that good in the first place, and as an adult, I’m only now noticing it just as I’ve noticed it’s “Froot” and not “Fruit.”

Froot Loops aren’t that good. There, I said it. If you’ve read my previous post about how I can’t do milk anymore, you may be tempted to wonder if the problem here is milk and not Froot Loops. I don’t think so, at least. The actual taste of the Froot Loops sans milk isn’t that good, either? There are plenty of cereals that you can sample dry and the flavor is good, but Froot Loops don’t exactly hit that button.

And I’m sad about it because I love Froot Loops. That’s the reason it’s complicated and I’m a bit like Charlie Brown with the football. The reason I thought about doing this post is because I’ve had this thought for quite a while, and yet, I keep eating Froot Loops. Literally, I had Froot Loops on Monday night. Every time I do, I think, “Well, maybe it’ll be better this time,” and it’s … not.

Sorry, Toucan Sam, I’ll come fly with you, but I can’t fly with Froot Loops anymore. (This is not true, I’m certain, much like Charlie Brown, I’ll have a bowl of ’em again. Kellogg’s wins.)

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