Detroit Pizza Is the Best Pizza (And Extra Musings)

… that I’ve tried at least. I still haven’t had an authentic Chicago-style pizza or a Neapolitan-style pizza or apparently, St. Louis and New Haven have notable pizza styles I want to try. I love pizza. All the pizza. All the styles. All the different crust flavors and sauce types and hand-tossed, thick, thin, extra thin crispy, pan, etc. Chain or local? Either one is fine by me, I don’t discriminate. Frozen? Warm up the oven. Delivery? I’ll be waiting. Five dollar Little Caesars? In a pinch. Cardboard school lunch pizza? Here are my quarters. Squares, triangles, trying to stuff the entire rounded pizza into my mouth, folded, whatever works on cuts. All the toppings, including pineapple (yeah, I said it), but minus anchovies and olives because yuck. Pizza bagels? Sure. Pizza breakfast? Heck yeah. Skyline Chili on pizza? SHOVE IT DOWN MY THROAT.

My motto is: There’s no such thing as bad pizza; there’s only better pizza. As such, my palate is amenable to the best gourmet pizza joint you can think of, but also to that dreaded bottom-of-the-rung school lunch pizza, and everything in between. Pizza is pizza, folks.

The only thing about pizza I’m not into is cold pizza. Piping hot, please.

But if I had to pick a favorite style? Detroit, hands down. And I’m talking a representation of Detroit-style pizza, not authentic here-I-am-sitting-in-Detroit-eating-pizza experience — and it’s still that impressionable upon me. Granted, I imagine it’s a rather good imitation since the Detroit-style I’m talking about comes from Jet’s Pizza, which Wikipedia tells me was started in Sterling Heights, Michigan in 1978. Sterling Heights is 30 minutes outside of Detroit. Since the ’70s, Jet’s has become what pizza snobs call a “chain” by opening 312 stores across the United States, including right here in my state of Ohio. For comparison, for the record, Pizza Hut has 18,703 stores; Domino’s has 17,000 stores; and Papa John’s has 4,456. So it’s not a chain in that sort of ubiquitous way..

Nonetheless, the Jet’s/Detroit style is rectangular pizza rather than rounded, with Wisconsin brick cheese for the edged crust that makes for a thick crust, and the slices are enormous. I got a four-piece one with bacon toppings tonight and look how giant this is:


… and yes, at the corners of those two photos is my comforter because I eat my greasy fattening pizza in bed like a true sociopath.

With how deep and thick the slices are, by the time I get to the fourth slice, I’m regretting all of my life choices. I could probably throw down a traditional rounded pizza with eight slices, if I really was hating myself. But four of these bad boys? I’m out of commission. I don’t know how four of these would translate to a rounded pizza. I never was good at geometry.

It also reminds me of a blend between deep dish merely because of how thick the slices are, but with squares instead of being round.

If I had one constructive criticism, it’s a tad on the greasy side and too much grease starts to make me feel a bit bleh, but PIZZA.

One of these days, hopefully soon, I’ll be able to have Detroit pizza while in or near Detroit, and compare it to the “chain” here.

What’s your favorite pizza style (from region) and favorite type of pizza (the cut, toppings, local/chain, etc.)?

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