As happens with my musings, they often have no discernible beginning, only further rumination and recently, I was thinking about hugs. I love hugs. There’s something quite comforting about them, whether platonic, familial or romantic hugs. Or, I must say, doggy hugs! My current foster dog gives the best hugs.
Her aside, when’s the last time I was hugged? I’m thinking my mom and I hugged at least once in the past year related to my depression-to-therapy journey.
It’s one of those weird social things where I like to be hugged and to give hugs, but also, I worry about initiating and encroaching upon someone’s comfort zone and space, even among family. I can think of many situations where I wanted to give someone a hug, particularly when a moment felt palpable for it, but pulled back and let it go. As much as I want to be a sappy type who is part of a family who regularly hugs or friends who regularly hug, as I know other families and friends do, I have hard time manifesting it.
Hugs are nice. I don’t know the science behind them and I’m too lazy at the moment to see what they unleash in our brain chemistry, but I’m sure it’s some good chemical stuff flowing through our bloodstream. Sort of like how laughing makes you feel good. Human connection and touch makes us, as social beings, feel good, connected, seen and alive.
Admittedly, something I long for and miss the most in a romantic context are those deep, long, blanking everything else out in the world but this moment, kinda hug. Yes, kissing is awesome and going further, awesomer still, but that simple human connection and touch, be it through a hug or even hand holding, is the best, really. Or cuddling! I do love cuddles, too.
I wish hugs were more normal and common. I get how they have been and could still be problematic in the workplace, but among family and friends and obviously, among romantic partners? Hugs galore, please! And I’m guilty of not leaning into this, literally, because as I said, it’s oddly tough for me to show emotions with family and friends.
Obviously, if I get a little alcohol in me, that gives me the Hug Courage and I’ve hugged my guy friends and such. But why can’t I hug my guy friends sober?! Or any best friend? Or a parent? Or a sister?
To mildly retract, my twin and I often “side hug” when we see each other, but it’s not like a full-on hug or anything.
Anyhow, do you like hugs? Or is that an invasion of your personal space?