Should We Hug It Out?

It’s beside the point, but the teeth in this Creative Commons photo are freakin’ me out.

As happens with my musings, they often have no discernible beginning, only further rumination and recently, I was thinking about hugs. I love hugs. There’s something quite comforting about them, whether platonic, familial or romantic hugs. Or, I must say, doggy hugs! My current foster dog gives the best hugs.

Her aside, when’s the last time I was hugged? I’m thinking my mom and I hugged at least once in the past year related to my depression-to-therapy journey.

It’s one of those weird social things where I like to be hugged and to give hugs, but also, I worry about initiating and encroaching upon someone’s comfort zone and space, even among family. I can think of many situations where I wanted to give someone a hug, particularly when a moment felt palpable for it, but pulled back and let it go. As much as I want to be a sappy type who is part of a family who regularly hugs or friends who regularly hug, as I know other families and friends do, I have hard time manifesting it.

Hugs are nice. I don’t know the science behind them and I’m too lazy at the moment to see what they unleash in our brain chemistry, but I’m sure it’s some good chemical stuff flowing through our bloodstream. Sort of like how laughing makes you feel good. Human connection and touch makes us, as social beings, feel good, connected, seen and alive.

Admittedly, something I long for and miss the most in a romantic context are those deep, long, blanking everything else out in the world but this moment, kinda hug. Yes, kissing is awesome and going further, awesomer still, but that simple human connection and touch, be it through a hug or even hand holding, is the best, really. Or cuddling! I do love cuddles, too.

I wish hugs were more normal and common. I get how they have been and could still be problematic in the workplace, but among family and friends and obviously, among romantic partners? Hugs galore, please! And I’m guilty of not leaning into this, literally, because as I said, it’s oddly tough for me to show emotions with family and friends.

Obviously, if I get a little alcohol in me, that gives me the Hug Courage and I’ve hugged my guy friends and such. But why can’t I hug my guy friends sober?! Or any best friend? Or a parent? Or a sister?

To mildly retract, my twin and I often “side hug” when we see each other, but it’s not like a full-on hug or anything.

Anyhow, do you like hugs? Or is that an invasion of your personal space?

8 thoughts

  1. Hugs mean everything to me, but I get what your saying about holding back. You just don’t always know if the other person will be accepting. I think hugging releases endorphins and helps relieve stress. I don’t think I could live without a daily hug. Here’s one for you my friend. 🤗 Hope you’ve had a wonderful day. 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

  2. not sure why but they can be comforting with the right people. i think it has a lot with expressing ones love for another in physical way that is not sexual. Sex can be love but it can also be for fun. But hugs i think it just for love. Unless you’re a weirdo Like president Clinton. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is a good post because this comes up when we have those few awkward seconds of not knowing whether or not we should go in for the hug, or one of us starts to hug and the other puts out the hand for the handshake and we reverse course quickly acting like we knew all along what was going on. Ha! It’s nice to “talk” about it. Kudos! For the most part I’m comfortable with hugs. Every now and then I get a creep vibe from someone and would rather not, but I think humans usually do thrive on it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha, thank you for reading and commenting, Kim! You’re so right. I’ve definitely had those awkward, are we doing a hug? Handshake? Fist bump? sorta moments.


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