Food Review: Twinkies Coffee Creamer

Yes, I put a filter on a photo of Twinkies coffee creamer.

[I can put a creamer under the heading of “food,” right? Drink seems suspect, but food feels like it can be a general term for all the things.]

Lately on the blog, I’ve been doing either philosophical ruminations, book reviews, or dark poems, so naturally, how about a Twinkies break?

If you’ve followed this blog long enough, you know I’m a sucker for food and drink gimmicks. If you told me there was going to be ketchup coffee creamer, I’d try it just because it is so weird. If you told me they formulated a banana to taste like a spicy Italian sausage while still looking like a banana, I’d try it just because it is so weird. And you know my favorite, if you told me they somehow made green bell pepper cereal, I would try it just because it is so weird.

The latest gimmick I’ve tried isn’t as weird as those: Twinkies coffee creamer. The mad scientists over at International Delight, and the dessert snack fiends at Hostess, have teamed up for a Twinkies creamer. The tagline reads, “Cake your coffee up a notch.”

Twinkies creamer isn’t so weird because we expect creamer to be liquid sugar to add some flavor to our black oblivion in a mug. So, why not Twinkies? And, coffee and cake are a natural pairing anyhow, so why not literally integrate them? What’s fascinating to me is that the mad scientists can figure out how to distill the taste (and smell!) of a Twinkie into a liquid creamer. Seriously, it tastes and smells like a dang Twinkie!

Now, I haven’t had a Twinkie in a while, and I’m not exactly Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson’s character in 2009’s Zombieland) in my obsession with them, but on the occasion I’ve had a Twinkie, they are delightful (internationally delightful?). It’s awful-for-you sponge cake with a creamy filling. What’s not to love? Decadence for nine decades. Now, decadence in your morning coffee cup.

Of course, International Delight, Coffee-Mate, Dunkin’, Starbucks, and the rest, are all jockeying for hit new flavors to entice consumers. If you go to the local grocery store here, there’s two huge frozen doors filled with creamers, and then another one filled with the almond and oat milk varieties. Everything from the more sane flavors, such as hazelnut, caramel, and French vanilla, to the more gimmick-based ones, such as Almond Joy, Cinnabon, and Willy Wonka Whipple Scrumptious Fudgy Caramel (they really went all out on that title). Those are the International Delight ones. Coffee-Mate has a Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal one, a Drumstick one, M&M’S (one of my favorites!), and a glazed donut one. I’m also partial to International Delight’s Cold Stone Sweet Cream one.

What’s interesting is, no matter which flavor of coffee, they all come in at 35 calories per tablespoon. I guess there is no daylight in International Delight between hazelnut and a distilled sponge cake creamer.

I just like to try new things. I like to mix it up, even if I don’t end up liking it, like the Cinnabon one. The Irish Crème one was also disappointing.

But Twinkies? As the back of the container states, it does make my morning (and occasional evenings) golden. It’s good. Not my favorite creamer I’ve tried by any stretch (still prefer M&M’S and Cold Stone creamers more), but it makes for a delicious little treat in my coffee cup. And as weird as this sounds, I enjoy smelling it!

What’s your go-to coffee creamer? Do you shirk the gimmicks?

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