If I don’t get this rant out of my head, I’m going to end up eating soft foods, rocking back and forth in a padded room. Do they still do that? I need to update my Hollywood movie perception of mental wards. Also, I could have used my weekly column at The Miami Student to write about this, but I’m not really into trying to write those types of columns. So, hey, my own personal blog space ripe for ranting.
I feel like I’m the proverbial old man yelling for kids to get off my lawn when I’m in class (which is apropos considering I’m 25 in a room mostly filled with fresh out of high school kids). Let’s just rattle things off that annoy me about other students, in no particular order.
- Slow walkers. I don’t feel like I walk fast, I just walk, but when I’m at Miami’s Oxford campus, especially or even on the regional campuses, like in Hamilton, I’m now convinced there’s a Slow Walking conspiracy. There’s just no way people naturally walk that slow. And it’s not even due to the stereotype of my generation that it’s because they’re looking down and texting while walking. They’re just walking, too, but extremely slow. I find myself overtaking people constantly at what feels like a perfectly normal pace to me.
- Related to this: there are sidewalks at Miami’s campuses and aside from people walking slow, they appear to have no spacial awareness or care for those around them. I can’t count how many times I’ve been walking on the sidewalk and had to dodge over to the grass to avoid people walking toward me, even though there’s more than enough room on the sidewalk for us to walk by each other. Yet, they’re not considerate enough for this. I don’t take up that much space, yo. Also, those groups of people that congregate in the middle of the sidewalk. That’s just fucked up.
- Students that talk while the professor is talking. I’m a freaking anarchist that has an built-in disdain for authority, but I also have manners and decorum and in this particular context, I cannot stand to hear side-chatter in my left or right ear while the professor is lecturing at the front of the class. What is wrong with these people? It’s not like they’e even trying to keep it to a whisper; it’s a slight octave above that. And it infuriates me, which I’ve expressed with dirty looks and heavy sighs, to no avail, of course.
- Again, somewhat similar to the above, is the Early Packer. I understand if the professor goes on longer than the allotted time for the class and the student(s) begin packing up their book bags, laptops and the like to leave, but when there’s still a solid five or even 10 minutes left and you get the Early Packer noisily packing up, it’s beyond inconsiderate and rude to me.
- The Under-the-Breath Commenter: This is the student that asks a question of the professor and when she responds, they mutter a snide remark under their breath. Or they make snide comments trying to elicit laughs from nearby friends while the professor is lecturing. I hate these snobby assholes. And they’re not funny.
- The Complainer: I get it, dudes, I hate having to take geology, too (albeit some of it’s interesting) and there are constructive criticisms to be had of any professor, but the people that complain about having to do work at the college level are just clearly fresh from high school and/or lazy.
- The Late-Comer: I don’t get these people. They come in 30 minutes late to class. I get a few minutes or even 10 minutes if there’s some extenuating circumstance, but thirty minutes and beyond? What’s even the point in an 80-minute class? Or the people that come in, get their attendance credit and leave 30 minutes into the class. That’s just bullshit.
- The Getter-Upper: This is the student that for some inexplicable reason needs to leave the classroom every five minutes to go pee, go to the vending machine or do whatever the hell it is they’re doing when not in class. I don’t understand how hard it is to stay in-class for a 110-minute class. For those longer, 3+ hour classes, I get the break, but otherwise? Come on, it’s distracting. I have classes where there’s a regular grouping of six or seven students that leave the classroom periodically.
- Cell Phone/Laptop Guy: I don’t get why people take the effort to bring a laptop to class if they’re going to be scrolling through ESPN and Facebook in the course of the class and distracting me in the process? I just bring a notebook and pen, myself. And the cell phone people. You realize you paid money to take this class, to get here and the time therein? Why waste it by playing on your phone? Again, it’s a 80-minute or 110-minute class, beyond extenuating circumstances, you can leave the phone in the pocket for that long, come on.
- The Pencilless Student: WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE THAT DON’T BRING A PENCIL TO A TEST?!
There are, of course, more, like the Eater, that brings a four-course meal to class or The Sleeper, but I’ll stop at 10 because ten is a good number.